I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a liberal from a normal God Loving American. I have developed this simple system to help us weed out the good guys from the bad guys (liberals). I call it my Liberal Identification System (LIS).
1. Minorities. Don’t ask me why, but the vast majority of niggersblacks and chinksasians vote Democrat, and therefore they are making their liberal bias known to the rest of the world. I have talked to them, but these people are just plain stupid! They cannot understand for example the greatness of the war in Iraq, and are focused on WMD rather than the larger plan. So point one in the Liberal Identification System is to write off minorities as liberals. They are really not worth our time. After all, there is a reason that the founding fathers made the White House white.
2. French. French people are probably some of the most arrogant and ungrateful people in the world. They would speaking German right now it it were not for us. And how do they pay us back? They defied Saint Bush in the run up for the Iraqi War. It is unbelievable to me that after 5 years after the war began, they still cannot see the wisdom of the war. French people must be blind or stupid, but either way, one thing is clear, they are liberals.
3. People with accents. I just got back from Europe, and they all tried to speak to me in English. Despite their efforts, their English was HORRIBLE. They really need to practice more if they ever want to get in good with me and other conservatives. Plus you know that God speaks English perfectly. Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.
When I was in the airports in Europe, I noticed one thing right away. You don’t have to remove your shoes at airport security. These people are clueless. Removing our shoes is like a ritual to fight away terrorists and evil. It is a communion against terrorism. Since we have started removing our shoes at the airport, has there been another 9/11? Case closed. I felt like teaching them the American way, but I knew they would never understand. Why? Because they are all liberals.
4. College Professors. This is a special and perhaps the most dangerous breed of liberals because they are educating our young people. That’s the scary part. They devise these wicked curriculums, and the underlying goal is to get young people to think and use logic undermining key Republican and conservative ideals.
Think about this. Many of Saint Bush’s economic advisers come from American universities. And these liberals are piping the same old lies. Our economy is in recession, the dollar is weak, the price of oil is rising, and federal spending is out of control. It makes me laugh. We all know the truth. Our economy is strong, the dollar is strong, price of gas is falling, and Saint Bush’s government is the most frugal in the world. There is only one conclusion to make. College professors are liberals.
5. Charities. Is there any doubt that Bill Gates is a liberal? He quits his day job to give away his money to improve world health. This is such a stupid idea I am not sure where to start. If I had that kind of dough, I would stop working so I could have more time to spend it. I really wish that Gates had called me, because I could have found a lot more fun ways to spend his money.
Worse yet. World health? I have already demonstrated that non Americans are liberals. So why in the world would we want to help them? In a subtle way, Gates is aiding the enemy by helping non Americans. Ultimately, Gates will get his punishment, but either way, charities such as these are chock full of bleeding heart liberals. They are probably the worst kind.
6. Non Christians – God doesn’t like non Christians and God does not like liberals either. Don’t you see that the two go together? God sent down his one and only son to save the world, and these non Christians are choosing to ignore God’s generosity. There is only one place for these people in God’s eyes, and in my eyes too.
7. Immigrants. Just another bunch of free loading poor people that don’t speak English. They want us to treat them as equals. HAHAHA. Fat chance, hermano. You guys need to go back to your disgusting little country, enter legally, get a legal American job, learn English, pay taxes, and maybe just maybe, we will treat you with a certain level of respect. Furthermore, any sign that you also might be a liberal, and your butt is out of here. Got that, Pedro?
8. Writers. What does the liberal media consist of? Writers. Lots of them. I know this is a slippery slope, because not all writers are liberals, but almost all of them are. It is a fair bet that if someone is writing a piece and it is not for Fox News, then they are feeding the liberal media machine. If it were not for the liberal media, our soldiers would be home, and the war of terror would be won. The war of terror is a war of emboldenment, and every slimy piece they write further emboldens the enemy. Remember Abu Ghraib? Of course you do, and so do the terrorist. What about Guantanomo Bay? The liberal media keeps on printing this stuff, and we will never win the war on terror, and our children will never be safe.
9. Hollywood. We have a dilemma as conservatives. I like my action movies as much as the next guy, but the people behind these films are liberals with a capital L. I have actually considered boycotting movies but it just isn’t any fun, even though every time I know that I am putting more money in a liberal’s pocket. Why can’t someone come out with some great movies by conservatives? Enough is enough already.
After having traveled Europe, there is one thing that is clear. The world is full of liberals. So this is just a humble beginning at weeding out the good people from the bad. God’s job is much easier figuring out who does to heaven or hell.
Redneck Republican 
Hey dickhead. I honesty dont know where to start. I actually wanted to buy this domain name “redneckrepublican.com” and post some stories about how fucked this country really is – but your entry came up in Google which led me to this absolutely atriocious display of a self centered, ill-educated mid-western dwellers point-of-view, one I have seen since I turned the TV on earlier tonight and watched David Letterman’s segment “Famous Presidential Speeches” when Bush mumbled some unintelligible comment.
OK… here goes. Yes, you are a red neck for sure, there is absolutely no two ways about that.
1. Minorities
Guess what skippy – this country was built on minorities. English, Dutch, Italians, Russians, Spanish, French and the list goes on and on… you – UNFORTUNATELY – have blessed the gene pool merely by your existance and are probably of European descent. And before the Europeans got here, it was full of Red Indians. And thats where the language comes from too – England (English – get it?). The greatness of war???? WTF? Are you a fool? War. Now, lets go through that will we? Whats that goon, Bush, spending $12 billion a month on? For what? Oh hang on, I know for what – oil. Oil – so you and all your fat, cheeseburger munching, bible bashing freaks can drive your fat asses down to the Taco Bulls or whatever you have in your pathetic small town hick malls – in your BIG oversized gasolina guzzling SUV pickup trucks so that you keep those heart disease doctors in business … sorry, I am getting off the subject of WAR. You see, wars are for the times when the world lacked and educated rulers and general population. As a planet, we are getting smarter since WW1/WW2, but its people like YOU want war’s because you are simply not smart. You think that by having a war it will end things. See, we live in a very small world – I have travelled all over the planet and there is one thing I know… we dont need wars. We need things to make this planet better, because one day – if we dont start looking after it and ourselves – it will finish involunatarily. And – dont be so dependant on oil. I personally cannot wait for the day that the price of oil goes so high that rednecks like you have to take the wheels off your big pickups and use them as somewhere to house your pets. Get with the program – oil WILL run out, and because the recent wars are about oil – wars will run out too.
2. French.
Yes, I have been to France plenty of times and yes, they are arrogant people. But – that is part of their culture Mr Simpleton. They are arrogant because its part of thier language, their persona and their outlook on life. Just like your pathetic outlook is one of bible-bashing, god loving and other disgusting habits like eating too much – the French do their thing. Plus – how many FAT people do you see in France compared to America? Ah, lets see – the French also make great wine (somehow I am sure they dont serve French wine at Dennys), great cheese and great bread. They also make great luxury items – something that rich American Republicans usually buy because they have seen the latest Louis Vuitton in a magazine (but unfortunately money doesnt buy class).
3. People with Accents.
Now – this one has to be a joke doesnt it?
So, you joined the other 15% of stupid Americans and decided to drive that big gasoline guzzling SUV down to the local office and get yourself a passport did you? How’d that feel? Make you feel like a “world citizen”? Fucking looser. So – you went to Europe and they had accents? No? Really? Lets see – for most Europeans, English is their second language. Most Europeans learn their native language as their primary language and then English as their secondary. But, mostly speak 3 and 4 languages. For example, a German will usually speak German, English and one other – maybe Italian or French. This gives them the ability to converse with the melting pot of cultures in Europe. Now – how many languages you speak you moron? Let me guess – … um? One? English? And I am sure you are not good at it either. Or should I say bastardised “American” English. See – you, Mr Redneck, COPIED the language they spoke in England. English. You should do yourself a favor and try and learn another language – it may give you a greater point of view on this little planet we live on. Isn’t God’s son Jesus? Didnt Jesus come from Palestine? Didn’t he speak Hebrew? God didnt speak English, I can assure you.
Shoes and Airport Security?
LOL! Yep – fights away terrorism. The reason, skippy, that the good old Department of Homeland Security insists that this is a ritual is to appease idiots like YOU. In Europe – they know – that if someone is going to blow up the plane, they will and there is nothing nobody can do to stop it. Thing is skippy – is that they dont want to blow up planes with Europeans on them – they want to blow up planes with Americans on them. Why? Because of people like you. The terrorists HATE people like you. Why? Because of the views expressed in this post. Simple.
4. College Professors
Dangerous huh? I cant comment too much here because I dont have a lot to do with these people, but what I can say is that this world needs to be educated better than it is. It needs to especially educate those with narrow minded visions of how this world works – such as cretins like you.
5. Charities.
All I can say to this one is – yep – I am sure you could spend all of Bill Gates’s money. On what? Let me see… on… Cheeseburgers, new pickup trucks and more gasoline. This planet does have a population crisis and – I agree, why help those that overbreed? I dont agree with sending billions to save them. I would however, have no problem is sparing thier lives if I could get rid of all the people like you. There is only a certain number of people that can live on this planet, and those that are grateful – like the poor people around the planet are worthy to be spared, rather than redneck assholes like you.
6. Non Christians.
You are a bible bashing piece of crap. Simple as that. I HATE people like you.
7. Immigrants.
Views on this were expressed earlier in 1) Minorities – but, all I can say again is, the United States of American was built and populated by IMMIGRANTS. I agree with them coming in the proper way and via the right channels – I dont agree with them being paid so low and exploited because FAT assed midwesterners like you dont want to do the menial and tedious jobs they do. Thats why this country is fucked – people like you wont get off your fat ass and do the things that the illegal immigrants will.
8 Writers.
All I will say is that Fox News is merely Murdochs money machine. He will do anything to appease his fan base and make more money. Thats fine – even if it is brainwashing scum bags like you.
9 Hollywood.
What a contradiction. Period. Oh – and the reason that you cant make movies like that do? You are too DUMB.
I am glad you got to travel Europe. You need to get down to India or the sub-Saraha to see the real world. Hopefully you may change your view. I doubt it – people like you have always been centered around the USA. Thats why people hate you. The USA is a good place, but its being fucked up by your type.
Is this a joke? You can’t be seriously saying this bullshit. Burn in hell you bigoted republican asshole.
Oops. I apologize, I commented on the wrong post. Sorry.
You’re a piece of shit you liberal
RR makes a helpful post about how to spot liberals more easily, which is handy to know whether you’re an American or not, and gets this hateful response? There’s no hate like liberal hate.
Dear Bob and Doug,
I have read your comment many times, and I would like to set the record straight on a number of issues:
1. My name is not Skippy. There is only one Skippy in my town and he is a little nerdy guy that fixes all the computers in town. People named Skippy do not drive bulldozers.
2. You are wrong about Taco Bell. Taco Bell is how I learn how other cultures, eat , live and think. America is the great melting pot. Speaking of which, I could go for 5-6 Taco Melts right now. To be honest, I do tend to overspend at Taco Bell, and they take advantage of me. One day, right after payday, I went to the Taco Bell, I ordered every Value Meal on the menu. All nine of them. It took me a while, but I ate all of them. The next day, I woke up and I felt horrible.
Which brings me to why I am writing you. I was sick for about a week, and finally I went back to work driving the bulldozer. One of the other bulldozer drivers commented that the big boss had voted for Kerry in the 2004 election. So in as professional manner as possible, I tried to explain to him how liberals are killing the country. How they are emboldening the enemy and we are losing the war on terror because of liberals.
Guess what he did? He got mad, and stated that I had banged up a $5M bulldozer, and that I had not been to work in over a week. Despite the fact that this was all true, I think that I was fired because he does not like god fearing conservatives like me.
So anyways, I have learned my lesson, Bob and Doug. If you have any work for a smart guy that almost made it through high school, I am your guy. I don’t have any references, but I really need the job. I have a tooth ache, and my truck isn’t running very well. I know that you are a liberal, but sometimes we need to put aside these petty differences so I can get some money.
Thanks,
Redneck Republican
Bob and Doug? Sounds pretty gay. And liberal.
Dear Redneck Republican,
Sorry to hear about your job problems. I have some manual labor that needs gettin’ done. I used to hire Mexicans but now know that this is wrong, so I won’t. But I have to ask, will you work for less than minimum wage, and off the books?
LOL! I sencerely hope that this blog is a joke, and it’s creator is just having fun portraying the ignorance and intolerance of the average conservative redneck. But if it’s for real, well, it just goes to show the unlimited narrow minded stupidity of your average middle American moron who doesn’t have a clue. Keep up the good work Redneck Republican! Real or not, you are providing an invaluable service to country.
this has to be a joke right?
If not, I don’t even know where to start. Redneck Republican, you just proved that minorities and the French are smarter than you. No shit people had an accent, English is not their first language, but at least they try, unlike most Americans ( southerns hicks just like you). This just shows your mediocrity. I’m surprised you even went out of the country. Don’t go back to Europe, they don’t need people like you. By the way, people like you aren’t going to heaven, so you can just give up on that right now.
I’m not gonna waste any more of my energy writing this comment. I’m above this ignorance and stupidity.
Oh and I’m french and liberal. I guess you were right!
Well done guy.
If you think that people must speak english because it’s your language, you have just prooven that you think like a french guy.
Parce qu’en france… on pense aussi que les gens doivent parler français… et que l’on ne compte pas faire un effort pour ces saletes d’americain egocentrique 🙂
“Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.”
HAHAHA that is the funniest thing i’ve EVER READ!!
Are you guys retarded? This is OBVIOUSLY sattire, very humorous. Those who went on long rants trying to “refute” him obviously didn’t read past the first paragraph. Shame on you. This is a very funny collection the author wrote because it wreaks of sarcasm.
Love,
A proud Liberal
[…] trying to corrupt your Pure Doctrines. Our resident Redneck GOIPer has more to add with his 9 Steps To Identify Liberals: I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a […]
Fools. All of you.
I want to comment about the ignoramous who made those remarks about #3. FYI the majority of Americans are so stupid that they can’t even speak another language, if barely English at all. I’m from Switzerland and in my country there is 4 official languages and about 95% of school-aged kids can speak four, or more, languages. Now, compare that with the kids that are from this country who have parents that are American and have never travelled abroad. I think they are the real idiots and cultural ding-bats that have A LOT TO LEARn. The same goes for you, so why don’t you peel open a few books and start studying, it might open your mind to a whole NEW WORLD and ATTITUDE, SHEISE KOPF!!!
Du-te dracu Elveţia, Fick dich Schweiz, Vaffanculo Svizzera….Voici les quatre langues parlées en Suisse supposée. Profitez-en. Tout simplement parce que les Américains ne considèrent pas l’apprentissage des langues supplémentaires une nécessité ne signifie pas qu’ils sont stupides ou ignorants des choses de ce monde. Vous les gens en Suisse sont tout aussi stupide et ignorant que n’importe où ailleurs.
This is great stuff – clearly points out the absurdity of this type of talk. Thanks for the witty satire.
She is a staunch Democrat known for her political activism, if not her amazing figure and acting career. But Jane Fonda didn’t hold back during a CNN interview on Friday after she asked about her opinion of the Republican presidential candidates.
The 73-year-old, who starred in Barbarella and Coming Home, was asked by Piers Morgan to comment on the intellectual capacity of the GOP candidates.
She replied: ‘They all scare me frankly. I get depressed and scared when I look at the Republican debates. I’m worried about anybody getting elected to office who says we have to do away with or privatize social security, we have to reduce medical health insurance, we have to not raise taxes.
You know what scares me? Another four years of incompetence, lying, socialist agendas, and idiot Hollywood morons.
Once again, you are one dumb fuck!
This is the best thing I have ever read. Y’all really know what’s going on in the world and where it’s going. I’m glad im not the only one with these beliefs. My only complaint is that you should’nt of crossed out niggers, that’s what black people are, just niggers.
You’re dumber than a rock, Skippy.
LOL
Wow, this must be the worst article I have ever read. God loves republicans and hates democrats. He loves the wealthy and hates the poor.
First of all being redneck is the most unamerican thing, think about it back in the civil war you separated yourselves with the “Confederate States of America” and represented the Confederate flag over the real American flag. You got your asses kicked by the union, point blank period. Your flag technically no longer exists, yet you still represent it and hope that it will “rise again”. You talk shit about Europeans and immigrants but that’s exactly what you are too. You lost the civil war get over it. Bitching about liberals like a bunch of whiny girls.