If you have not been following the news, 16 year girl, Abby Sunderland, was rescued in the middle of the Indian Ocean in a failed attempt to become the youngest person to sail around the world. Her parents, Mister and Missus Sunderland, have confirmed that Abby is indeed safe and sound.
This entire episode confirms what many of us have known all along. Liberals make lousy parents. Study after study have shown conslusively that the only way to properly raise children is in a conservative values based household. Children raised in liberal households are doomed to lives of hate, poverty and misery. Conservative children, on the other hand, grow up to be honest, hard working, independent pillars of society. Don’t take my word for this, just look it up the studies themselves. It’s all there in black and white.
The problem in this episode is not the rambunctious Abby Sunderland, but of course her parents. They allowed her and probably worse yet, encouraged her to sail around the world. Their child is now scarred for life. They say she is fine but this is just a cover up by the liberal media. Abby Sunderland cannot sleep at night without waking up in a cold sweat with recurring nightmares. During Abby’s waking hours, her thoughts alternate between suicide and bulemia. Suffice it to say, that Abby will never live a normal life nor be a productive member of society.
But that’s the good news. Abby could be dead right now due to irresponsible parenting. Dead as a door nail. If she were dead, they would have no one to blame but themselves. The problem is that they allowed their daughter to sail around the world.
But that one thought got Redneck Republican thinking. But who allowed the liberal parents to exist in the first place? The answer is us conservatives. We are allowing the liberals to be bad parents. If this is the case, do we conservatives also play a role in the tragic story of Abby Sunderland? Will there ever be a time that we conservatives put our foot down against the liberals that our destroying American households and the fabric of our society? Redneck Republican believes the answer is a strong and solid YES.
How do we attack this problem head on? The issue of course is that liberals do not know they are lousy parents. In fact, the opposite is true, they think they are doing a good job. They are clueless on how to raise their own children. Charges should be drawn up against the Sunderlands, and the justice department should throw the book at them. This is just not about the government protecting their daughter, Abby. This is about the future of humanity. Liberals need to learn a lesson when it comes to their children. In the case of the Sunderlands, Redneck Republican thinks they should get life in prison. They should be happy that they don’t get the death penalty because some on the far right are pushing for that. Abby should be put in a good conservative foster home until she turns 18, and then probably she should go to a psychological home where her mental condition will torture her until she finally takes her life. But this isn’t about Abby, her life is doomed any way. This is sending a message that we as a society will not tolerate future Abby’s.
When you look at all the drug addicts on the streets. When you look at rapists and murderers in prison. When you look at the beggars and homeless people on the streets. What do they all have in common? There were all raised in liberal households. That’s right we can end murder, poverty, famine, and homelessness in our life times and it all starts with throwing the Sunderlands in jail. And then throwing away the key.
Redneck Republican 
hey i’m doing an essay on this topic, would you be able to cite your references and studies you refer to?
What a desperate generalization. One stupid divorced father, and one ignorant mother who couldn’t stand up to him do not the set of liberals among 7 trillion earthlings make. Do you even have any idea they even are liberals?
Then there was conservative governor Mark Sanford who abandoned four sons on fathers’ day to fly off to Argentina and screw his girlfriend (after lying to his staff about being unreachable), and failed to fool them or his wife. Absolutely a typical Republican parent.
Oh, there’s this great christian conservative preacher dad who was shot and killed by his wife after he beat her silly in front of their three daughters on about four dozen occasions. Typical conservative.
You make a lot of claims that you state as fact, but are actually your opinion:
“Abby Sunderland cannot sleep at night without waking up in a cold sweat with recurring nightmares. During Abby’s waking hours, her thoughts alternate between suicide and bulemia.”
What you’re saying may be true, but you have no way of really knowing. I realize this is a blog, not actual journalism, but you should still know the difference between opinion and fact. Your writing reflects poor critical thinking.
It’s really funny how both liberals and conservatives who comment on these articles can’t figure out that it’s a parody. I guess this just confirms that there are idiots on both sides of the fence.
yeah I’m really interested to see these studies too. Name them!
Redneck parents instill fear in children by teaching them they have to stockpile guns and weapons. Republicans think sticking a gun in someone’s face is better than extending a hand to shake. And the confederate flag? Racist Racist Racist. I don’t care what excuses you have about it being part of your “heritage” it still represents an ugly time in history, just like the swastika. I suppose this is to be expected from someone who pulls their kid out of school to go “huntin” instead of getting an education. It’s an ugly cycle over and over again.
As opposed to beer swilling while driving gun packing illiterate racist sexist homophobic, xenophobic treasonous (The confederate battle flag known as the stars and bars was succession from the United States until they lost the civil war get over it you stupid rebel) rednecks who think nothing of killing gods little creatures and hitting their own children. They are worse than inner city were parents to hit the poor little children and smokes drugs liberal are better parents than either they don’t hit their children. By the way the republicans fought the confederate states you xenophobic dumb a–.