American Values Going Down the Toilet

26 01 2008

toiletThis is by far the most important presidential election of my life time. The reason is American values are under attack. And not just a little bit, but a lot. A quick history lesson. American values hit an all time low when Bill Clinton was the president of this great country. Let’s remember that Bill Clinton had sex in the White House. I’ll say it again. BILL CLINTON HAD SEX IN THE WHITE HOUSE. Liberals will argue that Clinton balanced the budget, and improved the economy, but that all is irrelevant. The reason is that the values of the country went into the toilet. Once Clinton took office, rape, incest, and other vile and disgusting acts spiked sharply. The divorce rate has gone up 1000% during Clinton’s period in office.

Thank the Lord Almighty. In 2000, America voted George W Bush, a man of tremendous character and values, into office. Almost like a miracle, America changed into a good and virtuous country. The divorce rate during Bush’s tenor was almost non existent. It makes so much sense, in a country of values, people will work out their problems. More importantly, gay people began to flock toward a heterosexual lifestyle. Please note. These incredible accomplishments are not related to anything Saint Bush did, it was his mere existence in office that produced these incredible results.

Which brings us to the 2008 election – the most important election of our life time. Liberals are trying to make this election about the war in Iraq, a broken healthcare system, humongous fiscal deficits, illegal immigration, a limping economy, and a bunch of bullfeathers. Don’t fall into their liberal trap! After all, what good is a job without values? What is a health plan without values? What good is money without values? We need a person of values in office like Bush Jr. If not, almost overnight, the country will fall into a virtual hell of filth and hedonism.

We’ve all had to use public rest rooms before. Have you ever gone into a stall and the prior person had made nasty bowel movement? Worse yet, they did not FLUSH. You are staring down at the disgusting feces of another person. The feeling in your stomach is visceral and nauseous. People! That is the future of a country without values. Do we want that for America? Of course not, we want a clean and pure America. This election is so important. Don’t fall for their liberal traps about the economy, the Iraqi war, and health care. Liberals have no values, and if we listen to them we are literally flushing the future of the country down the toilet.

Abortion Republican Style

6 01 2008

It’s been over 30 years since Roe v. Wade went down, and God is not happy. In fact, He is furious. But of course, liberals do not want to listen to the divine word of God, nor do they care about their eternal salvation. But it is time that we got the US of A back in line with the Lord Almighty. So I am putting together this plan to America back on track.

1. Overturn Roe v Wade. Note that this is only the first point of my plan. Making abortion illegal is just a start. God wants us to do much more. I will also add that we should give amnesty to any Christian that murdered in cold blood an abortion doctor. If you think about it, the Christian will be in heaven, and the abortion doctor is going to H-E double toothpicks. In some ways, we should honor these Christian believers for leading the cause.

2. Change the definition of birthday. The Bible is quite clear, life begins at inception, not at delivery. But liberals call our birthday, when we exit the womb. We must reject this liberal thinking away from God. More or less, we were all born about 9 months early, and so we are all 9 months older.Before liberals get all excited, we also need to change the drinking age to 21 years and 9 months, and the driving age to 16 years and 9 months. God is in no hurry to have more liberal drunken blow holes.This is going to be some work, because we will need to change the birth date of EVERYONE worldwide for all of time. When we go back in time, because of liberal ineptitude, we cannot accurately determine the inception date of all people, but I am OK if we just add 9 months to the birthdate of all people retrospectively.These rules are not just for the United States, God wants this worldwide. God knows damn well that there are lots of non Christian and liberal countries in the world. THEY ALL MUST CHANGE. This is worth fighting for and dying for. We need to send the world a strong message that we are serious. Only then will God be happy with us.

3. Women’s eggs. But now here comes the piece of resistance in frog speak. We need to start tracking all women’s eggs worldwide. God’s plan is that every month, every woman must report to the US government the status of their eggs. Most months, women will report that they had their menstruation and they flushed their eggs down the toilet. But if they are pregnant, they report immediately and voila (more frog speak), we have the inception date. More importantly, we now have an anticipated birth date. If the baby is not born by the birth date, an investigation will be launched to see if an abortion has occured. I think God is smiling now, because I know that I am. My plan is brilliant with a capital B.But it gets better. Once we have the global database of female eggs, it will put a sock in the embryonic stem cell research. Thank God we have George W Bush, the greatest president in the history of the Universe. If it were not Saint Bush’s veto, there would be a lot more uncategorized eggs.

So that’s the plan. It’s pretty simple really. Now liberals are going to start their belly aching and whining. This plan is very intrusive and an invasion of our rights and privacy. They can put a sock in it. This is not my plan, this is God’s plan. I’m just the humble messenger.

The Iraqi War is God’s War

29 12 2007

OK everyone listen up. I am going to go over a subject that many liberals may not want to know. That’s right, God is supporting our troops. This is not the Alliance of the Willing, nor is it an American war, this war is the will of God. We are just mere pawns in God’s master plan for happiness for all humanity.

Let’s start off with the simple fact Muslims are going to hell. I didn’t say ALL Muslims are going to hell, but let’s say 99.99% will know the heat of Dante’s inferno. Only accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior can one spend eternity with God. So what are the odds that any self respecting Muslim will accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I am guessing .01%, but suffice it to say, that hell is LOADED with Muslims.

Anyways point made. If they are going to spend eternity in hell, do they really deserve all that oil? Who made the oil anyhow? God did, and these guys can’t even recognize the sacrifices his Son made for all of humanity. Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Talk about ingrates. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.

It is clear to God and I that these ingrates don’t deserve this oil any more. There I said it. It’s not about Weapons of Mass Destruction, taking down an evil dictator, or creating a beacon for democracy, it’s about OIL. God created a decoy, so we can get into this vile country, so we can have their oil. God wants us to have their oil. We are going to heaven and they are going to hell.

But liberals want to ignore the immense glory of Lord Almighty. His mighty hand is guiding our troops to victory, but God is quite busy fighting the sand monkeys. He needs our help by fighting the liberals. So here’s the next piece of news. God hates liberals as much as I do. Liberals may say they have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, but God knows they are lying. Hell if I can tell they are lying, don’t you think that God can as well?

Speaking of which, it is hard enough putting up with liberals here on earth. Do you really think that God would make us suffer with liberals in heaven. Hell no. Not only are there no towel heads in heaven, there aren’t very many liberals either. Of course, God lets a few liberals into heaven each year. We need someone to clean the toilets.

So I want to personally thank God for guiding our troops, and also for the best Christmas present of all. Iraq’s oil. Yea, God! We get a bunch of oil for killing a bunch of people that were going to hell anyhow.  That’s what I call a win – win.

Liberals Are Destroying This Country

23 12 2007

Welcome to my site, Redneck Republican. The reason that I am taking the time to make this site is because I am sick of the liberal media advancing their liberal agenda. Folks, it is killing our country.

I and a handful of us intellectual Republicans can see through their liberal prose, and see the imminent destruction of our country. But I worry greatly, because most Americans are not nearly as smart as the average Republican, and are being influenced by the crap being spewed by the liberal media.

Let’s face the fact that there is a war going on out there. And we are winning the war. But the liberal media wants to hide this simple fact from the voting public. The tiny things that drive sound bites. Do they focus on the good? Babies are being born, and during the day, you can see butterflies flying near flowers in the center of Baghdad. Plus, people are still having sex and procreating. But the liberal media only wants to talk about the negative in Iraq – suicide bombers, American troop casualties, no electricity, rampant grift, sectarian violence, Al Qaeda sleeper cells. Geez. Yes, you can focus on the negative, but I prefer to remember the butterflies, and the smile of a newly born child. But that’s just me.

Aside from the depressing news being spewed from their liberal pie holes, I’ve got another beef. All this bad news is emboldening the terrorists. If the media began focusing on butterflies and babies, the terrorists would have no choice but to begin the process of unemboldenment. Take that liberals, I just invented my own word!

But seriously, the troops got hard enough a job without the liberal media distorting the truth related to our victory in Iraq. We are winning the war in Iraq and our troops would be home right now if it were not for the liberal media.

Now I got some bad news. The problem with the liberal media does not end with 60 Minutes, New York Times, and the Washington Post. In fact, it begins there. The root of liberalism is not the media, it is the universities and their liberal agenda.

Folks, it’s time for some serious talk. We are fighting a global war on terror, and the liberal media and the universities are aiding the enemy through emboldenment. The problem are not the terrorists. We can take care of them. To win this war, we need help fighting the real enemy – liberals. Remember, the friend of my enemy is my ENEMY.

So if you know someone that works in a university, treat them as the enemy. If we start to disrespect and loathe the American education process, we can win the global war on terror. People, every little bit helps. If you know where a college professor lives, or where students congregate, then we should work together to destroy these establishments. I am not advocating destroying all universities, we just need to send a simple message. That we are serious about winning the global war on terror. If we can just destroy a few of their homes, then the rest of them will get the message.

Thanks for reading my blog.