Global Warming is a Sham

2 05 2009

Now that the “Chosen One” is President of our great land, there is a lot of liberal babble about global warming. It is unbelievable how a progressive country such as the United States can go backwards so quickly. Here at Redneck Republican, it is time to debunk the liberals about global warming.

There is no such thing as global warming. Sometimes the earth gets warmer and sometimes the earth gets colder. That’s all that is going on here. We are just going through a little warm patch now, but very quickly, the earth will turn cold again. I am no scientist but it will happen in the next 10-20 years. When the earth begins to turn cold again, that will shut up all this retarded talk about global warming.

Unfortunately, until then and now, we have to listen to their liberal, the-sky-is-falling ramblings. It makes my head hurt to hear them talk. Here are some of their incredibly weak arguments.

Scientists. All of scientists agree that the earth is warming and it is caused by the increased carbons released by industrial nations. That’s the problem to start with. These opinions are coming from scientists. Why should we believe scientists on anything? After all, they are the ones that came up with the theory of evolution for God sake. If anyone had any brain, they would simply ignore everything that a scientist has to say. Would you talk to a lawyer about a medical problem? Of course not. Then why would one talk to a scientist about global warming?

Kyoto Treaty. Liberals next trot out the Kyoto Treaty. 185 countries have signed a worldwide accord to limit greenhouse gas emissions. The United States is one of only 2 countries that have not signed the treaty. Liberals feel that as citizens of the world, we should join hands with the other residents of the world in which we live. This is all wrong. All this proves is that the world is full of liberals that do not accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. The rest of the world should be worried about eternity in hell, and not about a little heat here on earth.

Yes, the liberals are all wrong about the facts on global warming, but there is one over powering reason why we should reject global warming. It’s a sham. They made it all of it up. They are trying to work the world into a frenzy about something that doesn’t exist. Why? The answer is simple – control. This is the first step to big government that controls every aspect of our lives. Soon we will all be slaves to the master government, all in the name of global warming. We at Redneck Republican do not want to be a slave to anyone. We want to be free, and therefore, the only intelligent and enlightened choice is to fight global warming with every fiber in our beings.

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Torture is Good and American

21 03 2009

Obama is slowing undoing all the incredible good and religious work of the greatest president of all time, George W Bush. Unbelievable as it sounds, he is undoing Guantanomo Bay, probably one of the greatest landmarks outside of the statue of liberty. When I hear the words Guantanomo Bay, it gets me all bubbly inside. It makes me feel so patriotic to think of all the Muslims we got locked up in our secret hide away. Now, Obama, a closet Muslim himself, is undoing it.

This is so wrong and unAmerican, that it’s almost grounds for impeachment. Guantanomo Bay is symbol of all things good and decent about our country. Just as American as hot dogs, baseball and apple pie. Just like all things good and important, it was not easy to setup the Guantanomo shrine of freedom. Bush had vehement opposition from the liberal media and the liberal democrats. Even more cumbersome, were all the liberal lawyers fighting Gitmo with the Constitution. Worse yet, the liberal international community were all up in arms spouting junk about the Geneva Convention, and the suspension of Habeus Corpus. Despite all of that, Bush got it done. Only a true conservative like Bush would persevere to setup the 9th greatest wonder of the world.

The liberal arguments against Gitmo are just stubborn idealism. They say that violating the Geneva Convention puts American soldiers at greater risk. They say that tortured confessions are quite often meaningless. Lastly, the liberal blow holes say that the torture itself disqualifies us from bringing the perpetrators to justice in a court of law. It makes me laugh to hear their weak arguments.

There is one over powering argument that shuts up their liberal pie holes. There has not been another 9/11 since 9/11. The reason is simple – torture. Since we began torturing people, the world is a brighter and safer place. The more we torture, the safer we are. This is the problem with Obama, he cannot understand the basic relationship between our safety and torture. We should not be closing Guantanomo, we should be opening up more. If we ratchet up the torture, not only can we keep Americans safe, but we can keep the whole world safe.

But there’s more. Because of all the liberal crap, we have been restricted on our torture to basic things like waterboarding. We are capable of much more complex methods of torture, and we should do all of them. Let’s open up the flood gates. We should be cutting people’s fingers and genitals. How about some bamboo under your fingernail, Sayid? Remember the stretch machine from medieval times? Let’s bring it back with a modern twist. Everything is fair game, in my view, to keep the world safe.

So we are keeping the world safe, but there is another argument for torture. All of these people are going to hell because they have not accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. So torture is going to be a picnic for them compared to eternity in hell. Once they get a taste of hell, they are going to be longing for a simple waterboard. Heheh. So if God is going to be torturing these towel heads, why can’t we get in on the fun?

There I said it. Yes, it is fun getting revenge on the camel jockeys, plus we are safer to boot. Americans, the choice is simple. If you love your way of life, then you support torture too. Torture is as American as apple pie.





God is a Republican

1 03 2009

godToday is probably the most important blog that I have ever written, because I have some huge news. God is a Republican. He loves all Republicans, and he is ashamed of his children that choose to be Democrats. One day, God wants everyone to be Republicans. Not just, Americans, but one day, the entire world will be Republican. That’s God’s plan, and you can read it in the Bible. Liberals will say that is just my interpretation of the Bible, and others can choose to interpret the Bible in other ways.

That is the entire flaw with liberals and the rest of the world, they want to choose. God does not want people to choose, He wants everyone to be Republican. Liberals say that God gives us free will, but that is only true to a point. Free will is only valid in God’s eyes if one chooses to be Republican.

Now here is the big news. There is only one way to get to heaven, and that is to vote Republican. Straight ticket. You don’t need to vote every year. I propose that they create a ballot called Republican for Life. Once the special ballot is signed, your vote will automatically be registered to whoever the candidate is for God’s Republican Party. This is the free will that God wants for us.

Liberals are going to disagree. They will claim that the only way to heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. That was once true, but not any more. Liberals can be so old fashioned and against progress. The new way to heaven is to vote Republican. Like I said, I read it in the Bible.

We already know that there are not any Buddhists, Taoists, Muslims, and any other non Christian religion in heaven. The residents of heaven are 100% Christian. So is it so far a stretch to believe that Christian Democrats will spend eternity burning in hell with the Buddhists and Muslims? God is rather particular with whom He plans to spend eternity. Look it up in the Bible yourself.

What’s more important, our short time on earth, or eternity? The answer is eternity. So if you don’t want to spend eternity burning with gnashing teeth, people need to wise up and vote Republican. Then and only then, will God let you into his kingdom.

The problem with liberals is that they think too much. They also talk too much but that is another subject. People need to stop thinking and start believing. Faith is the most powerful force in the world, and it is the only hope to combat all the liberal logic. We need to believe in God and his chosen party. I am now one of the Republican faithful that will change the world for eternity. Then and only then, will God allow us to have heaven on earth. Like I said, I read it in the Bible. Redneck Republican is now a Republican for Life. See you in heaven my fellow Republicans.





Unbiased Bush 43 Report Card

21 12 2008

Now that President George W Bush’s second term is winding down, it is natural and logical to begin to evaluate how history will evaluate his contributions against all the other president’s of our great nation. Rather than listening to the biased, America-hating, liberal media, Redneck Republican has put together the following spin-free, objective analysis of Bush’s standing in history.

Here we go.

National Security. Perhaps more so than any president in our life times, Bush’s presidency is overshadowed by American’s concern for national security. I am proud to say that Bush NAILED it. After our nation was viciously attacked on 9/11/2001, there has not been another attack on American soil. Bush foiled millions of attacks while president because he is strong on the war on terror.

Bush went into Iraq to keep us safe at home. If we had not attacked Iraq, cities such as Los Angeles, Chicago, and Dallas would be just cinders and rubble. Bush protected our home land against terrorists like no other president before and after.

Redneck Republican gives Bush a perfect 10/10. If there were a higher score then we would give that. I am sure that liberals will want to give Bush a lower score. Their arguments are poor. There were no WMD in Iraq. We would be treated as liberators not invadors. Our intelligence was wrong. Abu Ghraib and Guantanomo Bay. Our world standing has declined. The list goes on. That is the problem with the liberal media. They cannot see the simple truth that this is the greatest war in the history of the world led by the greatest president. Again, 10/10.

FEMA. Another incredible event during Bush’s administration was hurricane Katrina which devastated New Orleans, killing thousands of residents. Since the destruction of Katrina in September 2005, there has not been another Katrina. Yes, there have been other hurricanes, and the federal response has been quick and rapid. Bush nailed it. And just like the war in Iraq, we need to think of all the hurricanes that have been avoided. Since Katrina, there has not been another Katrina.

Liberals are going to say that Bush hired an incompetent croney. Next he gave him a pat on the back, and then fired him. Liberals think that events of Katrina could have been avoided. Pretty funny. For us at Redneck Republican, there is only one fact that matters. After Katrina, there was not another one. For this one simple reason, Bush gets a 10/10.

Budget. Want to hear a funny one? Liberals think that Bush 43 has done a horrible job managing the federal budget. Liberals want to point to the fact that the deficit doubled to close to $11T during Bush’s administration. Bush’s tax cuts to the rich were more favors for his golf buddies than an economic stimulus, and worse yet, that the war in Iraq was costly. Here’s the kicker. Conservatives are saying that Bush has departed from Republican small-government ideals, creating the largest government in the history of the country.

There is one simple fact that dissolves all of these arguments. Bush is the most prudent, money savvy, fiscally conservative president in history of the country. Boom! Game, set and match. People want to ignore this simple fact, but I will not. Bush gets a 10/10.

Gay Rights. Bush has truly nailed this one. The United States is a hetero sexual nation, and thanks to President Bush, we will remain so. Bush understands things that many liberals do not. First, homo sexuality is similar to a disease that can spread from one person to another. If we are not careful, we will become a nation of homos. Study after study has been done that shows that children exposed to gay people are more likely to commit suicide, kill other people, rape, and of course become gay. This is the bible talking here. It was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.

Bush hates gay people as much as us here at Redneck Republican. In fact, in our view, gay rights is an oxymoron because gay and homosexual people do not deserve any rights at all. There was a time when blacks had separate bathrooms and buses than white people. Maybe that was a little extreme, but I sure don’t want those creepy homos near me and my family. Thank you President Bush. 10/10.

Citizen Rights. The liberal media wants to give Bush a bad mark on citizen rights. They are so quick to point out government wire tapping, water boarding, and throwing out habeus corpus. Redneck Republican partially agrees but we are in a global war against terror. More importantly, the American public’s approval of the war on terror is an abysmal 18%. Less than one out of 5 American citizens are smart enough to see the wisdom behind Bush’s security plan. There are times when democracy doesn’t work, and the opinion of the people must be overridden. We are clearly living in those times. Bush nailed it – 10/10.

But now I must give pause. We are about to inaugurate a liberal democrat black man into the highest office in the land. Yes, water boarding, torture, wire tapping, etc are fine in the hands of a man of principle and honor such as Bush, but we cannot trust these enhanced executive privileges in the hands of a monster like Obama. Now is the time to reach across the aisle to the clueless liberals, and take these extraordinary powers from the hands of Obama.

Abortion. Here’s what everyone doesn’t already know. The United states needs more babies. It has been argued that the econonmic success of the United States was related to the surge in population related to the Baby Boom in the 1950’s. Now that economic times are dire, we need another baby boom. This takes No Child Left Behind to a whole new level. Liberals should not get excited, because this is not a call for rampant sex. Sex is only for the purposes of conception in a committed relationship in the eyes of God.

I am going to have give Bush a mark down on this one because Roe V Wade is still the law of the land. Redneck Republican believes that Roe V Wade must be overturned, and then an aggressive federal program should be created to weed out every baby killer in the country. Then each and every one will be prosecuted and perhaps a few will get the chair or the needle. That’s the right message.

That said, Bush has executed his plan. The only hope to over turn Roe v Wade is to stack the judiciary with single issue judges. Although the Founding Fathers created the judicial branch as a balance of power against the executive and legislative branch, this concept is out dated. Bush understands that the judicial branch has only one function – to overturn Roe V Wade. Bush has appointed 2 supreme court judges and 57 appeal court judges to create an army of judges to over turn Roe V Wade. He just didn’t get it done under his watch. Sorry George. 9/10.

Economy. To wrap this up, let’s talk about the economy. Liberals mouths begin to foam. They want to plant this mess at Bush’s feet. Liberals say that Bush wasted money in a costly war in Iraq. Tax cuts to the wealthy were essentially a boon doggle. And lastly, Bush removed the only intelligent regulatory controls to the housing market. These are all just pathetic lies.

The problem with the economy is the tax-and-spend democrats. It is high taxes and high government expenditures that created this mess. Redneck Republican has done an economic analysis and if there is any blame for the economic downturn, it would be with these presidents – Clinton, Carter, Johnson, and Kennedy. One thing for sure, it sure ain’t Bush 43. So in finale. 10/10.

Conclusion. Isn’t it amazing? Once one takes away the liberal bias, Bush’s presidency becomes a shining light, a model for all future presidents to follow. One can only hope that we have a president of Bush’s intellect, perseverance, and most importantly RESULTS. God bless America.





Impeach Obama

15 11 2008

At first, I was shocked at how stupid our nation is to have elected a liberal into the highest office in the land. Then I realized that America is not stupid, just uninformed. I was hoping that my blog and Fox News could get the truth out to the voting public, but our efforts were simply not enough. Barak Obama is president because the liberal media would not tell the truth.

But there is still hope! We should impeach his liberal ass before he even steps foot into the White House. I am sure he is measuring the drapes, but we cannot sit and watch our great country go down the liberal, elitist tubes.

As Fox News and Sarah Palin have already discussed, Obama is a terrorist. He doesn’t just pal around with terrorists, he is part of their plan to destroy America. He talks to Osama Bin Laden every day. This alone is enough to impeach Obama’s ass, but there is much much more.

Obama ran a campaign based on change, and the first thing he does is appoint a bunch of Clinton retreads such as Rahm Emanuel. First off, what kind of name is that? This guy is probably as evil as Saddam Hussein. But more importantly, this guy worked for the Chief Liar, Bill Clinton. This is not change, this is more of the same. Let’s not forget that Clinton had sex in the White House. So here’s the next reason what Obama should be impeached. Clinton is a liar, Emanuel is a liar, and so is Obama. As Clinton has already learned, there is a price for lying – impeachment.

But wait. There is one more key reason why Obama should be impeached. If anyone has not been paying attention, our economy is in freefall since Obama became President Elect. Circuit City the nation’s second largest electronics retailer announced they are in bankruptcy. Now it looks like the three major American car makers (GM, Ford, and Chrysler) all might run out of cash soon. This is just one week of Obama in charge! The nation cannot possibly endure 4 years of this. Unlike Bush and McCain, it is clear that Obama knows nothing about economics.

So Americans, WAKE UP. Obama is a terrorist, a liar, and he is personally killing the economy. Please join me in restoring our great country to its former greatness and impeach Obama.





The Truth About Obama

5 10 2008

Go Sarah Go! I am so pumped up about Sarah Palin I can’t see straight. When she talks about Joe Sixpack, I feel like she is touching my soul. She knows who I am. Plus she’s hot. She’s a VPILF. This is what will get America back on track. Yes, I was going to vote for McCain, but now I am excited to vote for the righteous party. Liberals want to focus on her lack of experience, and how she flubbed some easy questions from the liberal media. As usual, the only fair interview was the one with Sean Hannity.

Lately, Sarah has put the attack on Barak Obama. If you haven’t paid attention, she is showing the world that Obama has terrorist friends. Yes, Obama hangs out with terrorists. But let’s take the gloves off, Sarah. It is time to expose this nigDemocrat for what he is. Let me help Sarah, and maybe you can buy me a 12 pack when you win the election. You can talk about Joe Sixpack, but I am Timmy Twelvepack. I also have a buddy you can call Kerry the Keg Guzzler. You sound like so much fun, Sarah. Talk about American Values.

Back on Obama. Let me hit you with some other things that might shock the American public. First off, Obama is gay. That’s right. All of it is a charade. The wife and the kids are all a front to hide his non Christian sex preferences. It is a secret plot by the liberal gay community to extend their gay, homosexual life styles. Yes, we should be scared, because Obama isn’t going to make the white house black, he’ll make it pink. Of course, Obama is going to deny this truth about his pathetic life style, but it is clear that our family values have never been under attack like now.

It gets much better. Before he was gay, he was a child molester. The liberal media doesn’t want to cover this fact, but it is my duty as a proud American to come out and tell the truth. Now that Obama has all this campaign money, they have done a splendid job of hiding all of the facts behind his molestations, but believe me, he is a pervert. I know for a fact. He just didn’t molest one child but literally hundreds and hundreds of innocent children. We do not want nor can we accept a child molester as president of our great land.

Obama is also an alcoholic. He is not like Sarah and me that drinks a 6 pack and calls it an afternoon. He is a hard core alcoholic. The liberal media won’t cover this story, but he gets sauced every evening on the campaign trail shooting back Jaegermaester like it was water. Obama really scares me. Think about the 3 am call to the president. I am betting that Obama will be in a drunken stupor around that hour.

Obama hates white people. There is just so much information that the liberal press is not covering. The reason that Obama seeks office is to get even for slavery. He really should get over it. That war ended 150 year ago. And then the Jim Crow laws were repealed over 40 years ago. The nation needs time to heal, and the last thing we need is a radical black trying to push an anti white agenda. It will divide the country along racial lines. Perhaps it might even create another civil war. I will do everything in my power to stop that. Hey Senator, us Americans like peace. So why don’t you take your white hating attitude and go home to your liberal state of Illinois.

Sarah, you almost hit the target about terrorism. The reason that Obama runs with terrorists is because Obama IS a terrorist. He talks to Bin Laden almost every day, and they are plotting to overthrow the country from the inside out. This man is devious and he is not to be trusted. He is like a con man, trying to gain the nation’s confidence. Then once in office, he will destroy all of us. Fellow Republicans. We need to be afraid for our way of life.





9 Steps To Identify Liberals

2 09 2008

I have already stated that liberals are killing this country, but it is quite hard to tell a liberal from a normal God Loving American. I have developed this simple system to help us weed out the good guys from the bad guys (liberals). I call it my Liberal Identification System (LIS).

1. Minorities. Don’t ask me why, but the vast majority of niggersblacks and chinksasians vote Democrat, and therefore they are making their liberal bias known to the rest of the world. I have talked to them, but these people are just plain stupid! They cannot understand for example the greatness of the war in Iraq, and are focused on WMD rather than the larger plan. So point one in the Liberal Identification System is to write off minorities as liberals. They are really not worth our time. After all, there is a reason that the founding fathers made the White House white.

2. French. French people are probably some of the most arrogant and ungrateful people in the world. They would speaking German right now it it were not for us. And how do they pay us back? They defied Saint Bush in the run up for the Iraqi War. It is unbelievable to me that after 5 years after the war began, they still cannot see the wisdom of the war. French people must be blind or stupid, but either way, one thing is clear, they are liberals.

3. People with accents. I just got back from Europe, and they all tried to speak to me in English. Despite their efforts, their English was HORRIBLE. They really need to practice more if they ever want to get in good with me and other conservatives. Plus you know that God speaks English perfectly. Heck, I don’t even think that God can understand some of these retard Europeans.

When I was in the airports in Europe, I noticed one thing right away. You don’t have to remove your shoes at airport security. These people are clueless. Removing our shoes is like a ritual to fight away terrorists and evil. It is a communion against terrorism. Since we have started removing our shoes at the airport, has there been another 9/11? Case closed. I felt like teaching them the American way, but I knew they would never understand. Why? Because they are all liberals.

4. College Professors. This is a special and perhaps the most dangerous breed of liberals because they are educating our young people. That’s the scary part. They devise these wicked curriculums, and the underlying goal is to get young people to think and use logic undermining key Republican and conservative ideals.

Think about this. Many of Saint Bush’s economic advisers come from American universities. And these liberals are piping the same old lies. Our economy is in recession, the dollar is weak, the price of oil is rising, and federal spending is out of control. It makes me laugh. We all know the truth. Our economy is strong, the dollar is strong, price of gas is falling, and Saint Bush’s government is the most frugal in the world. There is only one conclusion to make. College professors are liberals.

5. Charities. Is there any doubt that Bill Gates is a liberal? He quits his day job to give away his money to improve world health. This is such a stupid idea I am not sure where to start. If I had that kind of dough, I would stop working so I could have more time to spend it. I really wish that Gates had called me, because I could have found a lot more fun ways to spend his money.

Worse yet. World health? I have already demonstrated that non Americans are liberals. So why in the world would we want to help them? In a subtle way, Gates is aiding the enemy by helping non Americans. Ultimately, Gates will get his punishment, but either way, charities such as these are chock full of bleeding heart liberals. They are probably the worst kind.

6. Non Christians – God doesn’t like non Christians and God does not like liberals either. Don’t you see that the two go together? God sent down his one and only son to save the world, and these non Christians are choosing to ignore God’s generosity. There is only one place for these people in God’s eyes, and in my eyes too.

7. Immigrants. Just another bunch of free loading poor people that don’t speak English. They want us to treat them as equals. HAHAHA. Fat chance, hermano. You guys need to go back to your disgusting little country, enter legally, get a legal American job, learn English, pay taxes, and maybe just maybe, we will treat you with a certain level of respect. Furthermore, any sign that you also might be a liberal, and your butt is out of here. Got that, Pedro?

8. Writers. What does the liberal media consist of? Writers. Lots of them. I know this is a slippery slope, because not all writers are liberals, but almost all of them are. It is a fair bet that if someone is writing a piece and it is not for Fox News, then they are feeding the liberal media machine. If it were not for the liberal media, our soldiers would be home, and the war of terror would be won. The war of terror is a war of emboldenment, and every slimy piece they write further emboldens the enemy. Remember Abu Ghraib? Of course you do, and so do the terrorist. What about Guantanomo Bay? The liberal media keeps on printing this stuff, and we will never win the war on terror, and our children will never be safe.

9. Hollywood. We have a dilemma as conservatives. I like my action movies as much as the next guy, but the people behind these films are liberals with a capital L. I have actually considered boycotting movies but it just isn’t any fun, even though every time I know that I am putting more money in a liberal’s pocket. Why can’t someone come out with some great movies by conservatives? Enough is enough already.

After having traveled Europe, there is one thing that is clear. The world is full of liberals. So this is just a humble beginning at weeding out the good people from the bad. God’s job is much easier figuring out who does to heaven or hell.